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Best Drinking Status For Whatsapp-Short Drinking Quotes
Anyone who says that alcohol is a depressant isn’t drinking enough of it.
A drunk man never tells a lie.
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
I only drink on two occasions when I’m thirsty and when I’m not.
Alcoholic friends are as easy to make as Sea Monkeys.
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
A drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts. – Steve Fergosi
A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her. – W.C. Fields
My boss didn’t know I drank, till one day I came to work sober.
Has often thought that what doesn’t kill us makes us drink stronger liquor.
When you stop drinking, you have to deal with this marvelous personality that started you drinking in the first place. – Jimmy Breslin
One tequila…. two tequila….. three tequila….. floor….
Maybe talking when I’m piss ass drunk isn’t entirely bright. – Chris McGowan
Beer is now cheaper than gas, do drink, don’t drive!
I drink to make other people interesting. – George Jean Nathan
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? -Steven Wright
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. – Benjamin Franklin
Drink what you want; drink what you’re able. If you are drinking with me, you’ll be under the table.
I envy people who drink. At least they have something to blame everything on. – Oscar Levant
Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy. – Frank Sinatra
I find the more I drink, the more interesting others become. – Tom Ralphs
Has realized that alcohol is very much like Pringles.
Ah that’s just drunk talk, sweet beautiful drunk talk. – The Simpsons
Time is never wasted when you’re wasted all the time. – Catherine Zandonella
Here’s to alcohol, the cause of, and solution to, all life’s problems. – The Simpsons
If you drink, don’t drive. Don’t even putt. – Dean Martin
He that drinks fast, pays slow. – Benjamin Franklin
Says God takes care of drunks and babies…do you know how lucky that is for drunk babies?
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Funny Drinking Status for Facebook
I swear to Drunk, I’m not God!
Of course I am gonna drive. I am too drunk to walk.
All is fair in love and beer. – Kurt Paradis
Stumbled into bed late last night. “You’re drunk,” she said. “Also, you live next door.”
Thinks my computer should have a little alcohol measuring tube to blow into before posting a status on Facebook.
I went on a diet, stopped smoking dope, cut out the drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks.
When used separately, women and alcohol can be a lot of fun, but when you mix the two you become a dumb-ass.
Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. – Ernest Hemingway
I feel bad for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day. – Frank Sinatra
Is certain that it doesn’t matter if the glass is half empty or half full. There is clearly room for more vodka.
Part of me says I can’t keep drinking like this. The other part of me says, “Don’t listen to that guy. He’s drunk.
No animal ever invented anything as bad as drunkenness – or so good as drink. – G. K. Chesterton
I got so wasted one night I waited for the stop sign to change, and it did. – Steve Krabitz
If you drink, don’t park; accidents cause people.
Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker. – Ogden Nash
Reality is an illusion created by a lack of alcohol. -N.F. Simpson
Work is the curse of the drinking classes. – Oscar Wilde
When I drink, I think; and when I think, I drink. – Frantois Rabelais
I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink. – Joe E. Lewis
The answer to life’s problems aren’t at the bottom of a beer bottle, they’re on TV. – The Simpsons
We drink [to] one another’s health and spoil our own. -Jerome K. Jerome
Beauty lies in the hands of the beer holder.
Wants you to know that I don’t really want to go drinking tonight, but I almost have perfect attendance at the bars this week and I can’t mess that up.
It’s like gambling somehow. You go out for a night of drinking and you don’t know where you’re going to end up the next day. It could work out good or it could be disastrous. It’s like the throw of the dice. – Jim Morrison
Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. – Dave Barry
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Short Drinking Quotes by Famous People
One martini is alright, two is too many, three is not enough. – James Thurber
If God had intended us to drink beer, he would have given us stomachs. -David Daye
I knew I was drunk. I felt sophisticated and couldn’t pronounce it.
Why don’t you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini? -Robert Benchley
I know a lot more old drunks than old doctors. – Joe E. Lewis
I love scotch. Scotchy, scotch, scotch. Here it goes down, down into my belly. – Anchorman
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. – Henry Youngman
Man, being reasonable, must get drunk; the best of life is but intoxication. – Lord Byron
I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it. – Rodney Dangerfield
Drinking beer doesn’t make you fat; it makes you lean… against bars, tables, chairs, and poles.
Everybody should believe in something; I believe I’ll have another drink.
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth. – George Burns
Responsible drinking? Now that’s an oxymoron. – Aaron Howard
I’ve never been drunk, but often I’ve been overserved. – George Gobel
Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my scotch, I say, I’m thirsty, not dirty. – Joe E. Lewis
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Best Drinking Status & Messages
Every loaf of bread is a tragic story of grains that could’ve become beer, but didn’t.
Drinking Tip: Never buy the first round cause that’s when people care what they’re drinking!
If I ever sound inspirational, one of us is drunk.
Whenever I have a panic attack, I put a brown paper bag over my mouth … and drink all the vodka inside … It seems to help.
Just found a shopping list in this cart that said, “Beer, wine, crap like that”, so apparently my soulmate is still out there.
A woman just dropped a 20 dollar bill next to me. I thought, ‘What would Jesus do?’, so I turned it into wine … Well, I bought wine.
First Rule of Camping: Put up the tent before you start drinking.
My boss told me that there is no such thing as problems, only opportunities. I said, “That’s great. Well I have a serious drinking opportunity.”
At my age I can no longer function without my glasses. Especially when they’re empty.
There’s a big difference between knowing what time the liquor store closes, and what time it opens.
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